Why Men Increasingly Avoid Marriage

Across the internet, women have begun making statements such as: Why are men avoiding marriage? Why do guys avoid commitment? Being single sucks.

A Carl Weisman study showed American men are increasingly avoiding marriage. Men fear getting involved in bad marriages with bad wives. This fear is partly driven by the feminist based anti-husband messages of women's magazines and writers.

For example, Parenting Magazine claims their marriage survey shows moms are angry at their husbands "at surprising levels". They state husbands "often don't notice what needs to be done around the house or with the kids". They also claim husbands have "more time to themselves" as compared with moms. Their survey stated 46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more. Lisa Bain, executive editor of Parenting Magazine said "The truth is if you prick any one of us with a little pin, anger comes out". Female writers of ABC News and the Associated Press discussed the survey and expressed outrage at husbands.

However, the magazine's survey completely ignored husbands. No husband was asked anything. His opinions were considered unimportant. His efforts at work were ignored and he was largely unappreciated by his wife.

One stay at home mom participating in the survey stated she was angered at her husband (who worked 11 hour days) because he set aside some time one day a week to be an independent music producer - something he enjoyed. Another wife responding to the survey stated though her husband did 60% of the housework plus his job, she was angered she had to ask him to do housework.

Single men wonder why is he doing 60% of the work plus his job. They think: Why should I get married if my opinions don't matter. Why would I want to marry a woman who will be mad at me every week for the rest of my life because I don't do things her way? Why is she my boss?

It should also be noted none of the wives in the survey report stated they help their husband with house repairs. Additionally, Glen Sacks stated, according to the Bureau of Labor Statics, men's time to themselves is a meaningless 1% higher than women's.

Another women's magazine, called Double X, promotes books where wives cheat on their husbands. The book 'Prospect Park West' was promoted with the headline "Mommies Want to Have Sex, Just Not With Their Husbands". The book 'The Seven Year Itch' was promoted with the question "is it still realistic to expect wives to remain faithful to their husbands?" Conversely Double X continuously criticizes cheating husbands. The feminist notion its acceptable for a wife to cheat but wrong for her husband to be unfaithful has also been promoted by the online women's magazine Ivillage (though not all its writers agree with this mentality), female writers of the online magazine Askmen and, incredibly, Men's Health Magazine. Additionally, female reporters of ABCNews & Good Morning America continuously criticize cheating husbands. They refuse to criticize cheating wives.

Single men think: Why get married if its ok for my wife to cheat but I have to remain faithful? Why should I give up dating different women to be married to a cheating wife? Why should I accept abuse?

Many husbands have begun asking these same questions and have begun dumping their cheating wives in increasing numbers. This has given rise to websites such as "Stop Your Divorce in 4weeks" and "Cheatingways". These sites seek to prevent husbands from divorcing their cheating wives. The 2nd site (owned by a woman) actually encourages wives to cheat on their husbands. It offers wives a wealth of tips on how to deceive and fraud their husband. The site apparently was not founded with this intent but, like most of the country, drifted into an anti-husband mentality.

Single men think: Since marriage means the exploitation of husbands then why the hell should I get married? Do they think I'm stupid?

Lastly, American divorce laws also cause men to fear marriage.
The feminist judicial system often rules against husbands in divorce. Husband's are usually ordered to pay large alimony / child support payments to the ex-wife. Some claim the child support payments contain hidden alimony. In most states, these payments don't decrease if the ex-wife's income dramatically increases after the divorce. Though some wives with high paying jobs have been ordered to pay alimony/child support to their ex-husbands, many judges are reluctant to apply divorce laws equally. Additionally, if the husband later loses his job & fails to continue child support payments, he will be jailed.
A husband may also face false accusations of sexual and child abuse during the divorce. In those states with heavy feminist bureaucracy, the husband - like the Duke and Hofstra rape fraud cases - will have to prove his innocence. Some wives will interfere with the husband's visitation rights to his children. In feminist oriented states, the courts will do nothing to stop her. And paternity fraud remains legal.
The divorce system is designed to trap men in bad marriages with bad wives.

An increasing number of American men are now reaching the conclusion that being a husband is not worth it. The better deal is to remain single and have a series of relationships with different women while pursuing hobbies and life goals.
Additionally, a college educated single man can have a very good life.

What if everything were reversed. What if only a husband's perspective was important in marriage and cheating was only wrong for the wife. What if the family court system discriminated against wives?
Would American women want to become wives to the massive degree they do today?
By nature, men and women are companions. By feminism, men and women are now adversaries.

All men should work to protect future generations from marriage. While some of us (myself included) may have fallen into this trap, we should do everything we can to educate younger men to avoid marriage and feminist women in general. Women may want to make us into slaves but we don't have to fall for it.
Look for a Southern woman! A lot of us still know how to treat a man right! A lot of us aren't ballbreaking bull-dykes with cropped hair and a sense of entitlement that would dwarf the Washington Monument. We also tend to be very family-oriented (husband and children are the #1 priority in our lives), rather than following postmodern feminist ideas (i.e. being a pathological narcissist who just so happens to be female).

I won't say that ALL Southern women are wonderful (more's the pity), but a much higher percentage of us are. Before you give up on American women entirely, try the Southern woman.
Now, I'll add one caveat. The southern woman expects her man to be just as devoted to the marriage and the family as she is. If he doesn't man up and make the family his #1 priority, she will be EXTREMELY dissatisfied. So, if you're cool with that, try the southern woman. If not... well, I guess you're out of luck.
Well Ms "Southern Woman", I like your attitude.
Great post and very true. Young men need to wake up before it is too late. I was engaged and she became abusive after the engagement. That and seeing my brother abused by his wife and the courts led me to break off the engagement. A friend told me to read "Taken into Custody". Every man in this country should read this book. I will never consider marriage again.
Don't fall for it, Rob.

North, South, East, West...you can expect the same attitude from women everywhere. Be cognizant of what needs to be done translates as:

"Have the same expectations as me. By that, I mean read my mind, and I'll still bitch at you if you don't do things my way."

No word of lie, I got involved with someone who would complain if I took the garbage out and put in the wrong trash can. She had two, and they both went out to the curb on Mondays, but if I put it in the can further from the door going outside, there was hell to pay.

Still another would bitch at me for doing my own laundry...the wrong way...meaning "not the way I do my own".

Guys, you get married and you will always always always be wrong. Now I understand that these are smallish things over which to get upset, but if you get this kind of treatment for stupid and pointless shit, what kind of treatment can you expect with more important stuff?

Marriage is voluntary slavery for any man. The only joy a wife has is complaining about everything you do, everything you say, and everything you believe. They may not all be ball-busting bull dykes, but they sure as hell think of you as nothing but a child needing her guidance; and a stupid one at that.

Women wonder what happened to all the nice guys. When they say they want someone nice, they mean someone who never rebels, never disagrees, and only talks about what she wants to talk about. Don't even think about considering yourself a self-realized human being. At best, you are an errant pet. Don't believe me? Watch how they all spit venom amongst themselves when the men-folk are out of ear shot. It isn't enough to merely be a decent if flawed man. You have to be "nice".

No thanks.
I was married for 3 years & my wife turned out to be a selfish jerk. The whole marriage was centered around herself. I counted for nothing. I have no idea what I ever saw in her but I'm glad were divorced.
Seems there's a lot of selfishness on all sides here...The fact remains that marriage is a choice but when a man chooses to have sex with a woman there's alwwys the possibility of pregnancy and then for the next 18 years BOTH parents have a responsibility to the child. Why is it just the mother who should be stuck with this. If you were in a marriage and children are planned then I'm afraid dad you are obligated to those children..Take the spouse or partner out of the equation and uyou are still stuck with a truckload of responsibility and financial obligation. I'm sick of hearing about people thinking that the world owes them freedom and fun when you've willingly partici[pated in a sexual act and have produced another human being!! No wonder the world seems so screwed..when people seem to put their own needs above their responsibilities
Ange's said...
Why is it just the mother who should be stuck with this. If you were in a marriage and children are planned then I'm afraid dad you are obligated to those children.

Little boys who are raped by adult women are forced to pay child support to their rapists.

It doesn't matter if it's planned in marriage or created by the mother raping - NO MALE has any reproductive rights whatsoever.

Meanwhile women have dozens of means of contraception, the right to abort WITHOUT the other parent's consent, complete control over any male's reproductive destiny, the right to simply dump babies they don't want and more.

Here's a clue for you Ange's. It's way past time women were required by law to acquire the father's consent before proceding with any pregnancy. His involvement in the process should be both voluntary AND consensual.

Just like yours!
"The fact remains that marriage is a choice but when a man chooses to have sex with a woman there's alwwys the possibility of pregnancy and then for the next 18 years BOTH parents have a responsibility to the child."

The only fact is that women have control over every part of the reproductive cycle - from pre-conception via contraceptives, to pregnancy via legalized abortions, and even post-birth via adoption and no penalized abandonment. A woman does not have to be a mother, if she so chooses.

Now let's look at what reproductive rights men have. They have none. If a woman gets pregnant, and can easily terminate it or give it away, she can choose to keep it so she can extract money from the man. Conversely, she can choose to kill the unborn baby, even if the man wants it.

So I must disagree with your statement that both parties should pay out of wedlock. Until men have equal reproductive rights (funny how women only want equality when it benefits them exclusively), all responsibilities should be solely placed on the woman who chooses to become a parent when she can opt out of it at any time.
I have heard women talk about equal responsiblity for child conception, but as a woman, I must admit, men do NOT have equal rights with pregnancy. We have way more bc methods than men, and to conceive, we have to give men permission to our bodies. Women make the decision to terminate, adopt, or keep the baby. In adoption, women can and have lied about the father to avoid his permission. It is usually women who INSIST on keeping the baby, even when they know ahead of time the guy wont be around. Nobody forces us to become single moms, we make the choice, while men have no option. Women dont work, they get welfare and child support. Men dont work, they get jailed. It's not fair and if you want to claim the vicitm single mom title, support the kid as a single parent. I also hear women saying they dont men to be fathers....yet they will pursue them for child support and wonder why so many men no longer trust women.
well said ROB !!!
great piece of work !
Given that marriage is a crap shoot (more like a coin flip) in terms of the odds of divorce, the rewards of a lasting marriage does not outweigh the financial devastation of a divorce. The "reward" of marriage is enslavement and the risk of divorce is financial enslavement.

There is nothing in it for the man!
Marriage is the biggest source of depression and soul-crushing malaise for men in this country. Nothing else even comes close.

It is no wonder that the marriage rate is dropping fast, and that 40% of people say "marriage is obsolete" (according to a Pew Research poll). Data from the U.K. that has not been cherrypicked to favor marriage shows that men who don't marry are happier then men in any kind of marriage. And men who never marry have less heart disease than married men now. The old saw about married men "living longer" has also been disproven, with newer, better data.

Young men know this now, thanks to the Internet, and wisely they are steering clear of the dangerous rocks of marriage.
Nicely written Rob! This is spot on! It took me 21 years to figure out I married the wrong woman, but thank God I'm free now. To keep this thread positive, both men and women should look for the upside, since we still need to propagate the species. If you're a young guy, choose very carefully, make sure she's not a narcissistic cheater before saying "I do" and bail out before you accumulate assets if you see it going bad (I saw it in year two and did nothing for 19 more years). Even if you have a bad marriage, your kids are one of the best things in life so do right by them no matter what. If you're older, I can tell you from my experience it isn't over yet. You can turn back the clock in a heartbeat with motivation and no wife to hold you down. If you're a younger or older woman, read Rob's words and the comments carefully. Luckily for me, my divorce was amicable and my ex and I are still friends. She didn't take me to the cleaners, and I'm making sure she'll be okay, but I'm never taking that chance again. If you can find a man willing to marry you, then carry half the load, don't cheat and don't put a bunch of insane controls on him or he will stray or divorce you. I never cheated and probably stayed married so long because my wife didn't control me...she just didn't do anywhere close to half the work. I found out that younger, more attractive women were still available, despite my age, so I got out. It's so hard to stay attracted to someone your whole life, so make it your life's work to treat your husband right. Those of us who agree with Rob's words are done. Single life for college-educated adult men who take care of themselves is AWESOME. Lastly, guys, if you divorce, make your kids your TOP PRIORITY. Divorce sucks for them and all the blissful freedom in the world isn't worth it if you neglect them. Make them as happy as you possibly can and then get out there and have a great time! Thanks again Rob for a great read. Take care all:)
Well said Anonymous.
29 year-old male here I had nothing but a deep faith in my complementary gender, and admired only the strongest of women.Fast-forward from then, a decades worth of dating independent women who would mostly identify themselves as "feminists" and I've witnessed firsthand The criminality that they can easily get away with...forks pierce my flesh.I've witnessed one woman poisoning my pets.scalding hot water turned on me in the shower,locked out of my own apartment.If this is how some women of my generation act in ordinary relationships I can't even begin to imagine how they act in a legal marriage.a girl can seek a seething revenge when she has the wealth of power that she does inside of a marriage."power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely"combine her new found powers with that of THE STATE, which is her "other husband" and you have a recipe for how powerless us guys feel with a side of divorce-court lawyers.older men have warned us.I easily attract women. I'm exposed to a wealth of options, sometimes 30+ different dates a year. I've been in two separate three year relationships, and I've had 8 sexual partners (I don't like diseases!!)but the thing is.I don't date alcoholic babes or supermodels.I date little librarian cuties, geeky academic savants, and art students.these seemingly normal young women that escalate into a complete lack of sanity.I even went on two separate dates with grown women who each claimed to have been violently raped.well, when they were drunk they admitted to me that they made the whole story up.a lie.for attention.someone please explain to me what kind of culture we live in where people feel the need to retreat into victimization fables to create some sense of identity for themselves?? Recently I've recoiled from the stress of modern living into peaceful seclusion and serenity.I used to make a healthy six-figures doing design-work but when our studio faced troubles and I was laid-off the first thing that crossed my mind was "Holy shit.If I was married right now the woman would divorce me, strip my children away from me, spend decades convincing those children that I'm the one that abandoned them, all on my fucking dime"
Want a man to adore and cherish you? Give him something to BELIEVE in. I guarantee that if you tell your man that he's a good person it will be the first time he's ever heard that he's anything other than "a monster". Tell your man that he's hard-working and it will be the first time he's ever been told he's anything other than "obsessive"Tell him that he's a brilliant inspired mind and it will be the first time that he's heard anything other than he's a "bumbling doofus"I visited a group therapy session for abused males and much to the astonishment of the local hospital was that their statistics were showing that 40% of young males in academic student cultures have experienced mental and physical abuse. And what's most shocking is that the men aren't being single out, these girls are violent to EVERYBODY when they can get away with it. One woman I dated once started punching the shit out of one of my good friends because she mistook him for me out of the corner of her eyes."OH you just date BITCHES!!"as if bitches don't have vaginas, as if bitches don't vote also.The most punishing of all was a deeply involved relationship where my girl was struggling for employment.I did what I could to help out, finding a job for her right there in the office next to me.She enjoyed finding a place in the career I had worked hard to achieve for myself, but this ate away at her inside.Well one day she found a job of her own, two weeks later all her stuff just disappeared from our apartment and I didn't hear from her for a year.Well she had gotten laid-off, and came crawling back crying for me to take care of her again.I'm simply a wallet with legs.
Hope U didn't take her back. She made her choice. Now she has to deal with it.
Hey Ange, how about you get a friggin clue and understand what he's trying to say?? Rob is not stating that men should abandon their kids. Those of us with kids and married to psychopaths like you are already screwed, we know this.

He's talking about not getting married in the first place so that we're not locked into a life of torment and misery and waking up everyday, looking across the bed, and wondering how in the hell we voluntered for this "bliss".

But thanks jotting down some jibberish and proving his point...hag.
@ Anonymous

LMAO! Good comment.
This is happening because for many, many years women have been dominated by men.

I don't think men that cheat are discouraged in your country. All I see on TV and on the net is cheating American men, rarely women. Not to mention porn, which has modified men's expectations and sexual behavior. The only thing that is eroding marriage these days in many Western countries is sexual liberation and the promotion of ego-centrism. If you live on your one until your 30, have, lets say, 20 or 30 sexual partners, with whom you only sometimes connect on an emotional level, than it becomes harder to get involved in a marriage, which is very hard to maintain. For many Western people marriage is defined unconsciously as a contract and they have high expectations that cannot be fulfilled on the long run. It's supposed to get boring and stable, but most people, men and women, still want to act as if they were 18 when they"re actually 30 or 35.

What I've seen is that over 50 % of men cheat in their first 5 years of marriage and this is not necessarily because they are sexually frustrated, but because of what porn has changed in their way of seeing sex and because of a social pressure to cheat(the media shows it all the time, most of their male friends do it, watching porn and lusting after every women he sees on TV, at work,on the street is considered ok etc.). Men considered it great that naked women are always plastered on the walls, on tv. etc, porn is magnificent, but when all this becomes reality they don't like it. The fact that you have access to other men's women means other mean also have access to your woman. And increasing women's sexuality inevitably leads to her cheating as much as men do.

I think the difference is that women want some kind of revenge and they want to even up the stakes. It's a normal phenomenon. In time it will resolve itself.
I don't have to remind anyone that if it weren't for feminism, women would still not be allowed to vote or have an education or even have the possibility of getting a divorce if her husband was cheating on her or being abusive. I think you men don't like the idea that now it's not just about you, your needs, your wants, your freedom. All I see is a bunch of men who want to have kids, so that someone looks after them when they're old, but don't want to look after those kids, don't want to pay alimony, don't want to do anything around the house etc. O, and yes. He can cheat as much as he want, but his wife should be faithful.Yeah....

Times have changed. Now it's our turn. Maybe if you werent't so selfcentered and obsessed with sex, marriages could have a chance. But since the image of the perfect wife is defined for most men as such: "Does she swallow(she should look like a porn star, as well)?" and "Will she let me cheat on her?", no wonder you all are discontent with marriage.
@ Anonymous Foreign Woman May 2012

All U see on TV is cheating men. Yeah, well thats because TV in America is largely feminist oriented. Subjects like cheating women and paternity fraud are largely "brushed under the rug".
50% of men cheat?? What women's magazine did you get that stat from?
Porn has nothing to do with the disaffection of men. Its the lousy way husbands are treated in this country that is turning men aginast marriage.
Even though you are a foreign women you are still a good example of this mistreatment.
In your two statements you start to make excuses on why its OK for a women to cheat, yet you are mad if a man does the exact same thing.
Men are tired of this self centered double standard.

Also, if a movement based on equality rather than on feminism came along in the past, women today would still be allowed to vote and get a divorce etc. The major difference would be that all the legaized female chauvinism would be wiped out. Society would be at a happier state.

If you are representative of the women in your country - whatever country that is - than I would expect men in that country to also begin rejecting marriage as a way of life.
Great read Rob and I enjoyed the ensueing commentary! I'm a 35 yr old male and have slowly but surely gone down the road of not wanting to get married or have children. I've dated women that would be considered good partners, but I just don't believe in making that next choice. A child free, unmarried life is not wrong, everyone of us should strive to do what he thinks will make them the happiest. If for some reason I change my mind later, so be it, but for the foreseeable future I can't go that route. I rather regret later on than resent.
Thanks guy for the advice, most of website aren't objective at all and largely benefit to women's opinion of how life should be.

I'm young, graduating business school, etc. So a great life full of opportunities is on the horizon.

Thanks for warning me and not letting me fuck up what I can live.
Most men in marriages are thoroughly abused both psychologically and physically by the wimmin of the raunch female chauvinist cult-her that is atypical of North America/UK, etc.

Domestic violence is half of wimmins fault, actually more so, given the children are exposed more with mother dearest. I know for a fact that the male friends in my life have all been physically assaulted, never mind the constant mental abuse. Police and courts do not see men as people so men have no say in the matter as well evidenced by every females who emotional terrorizes her husband with the Divorce Card to get anything she demands.

Even my own sister has admitted she broke her husbands ankle and does play emotional terrorist all the time, she has also beaten her son, I threatened to call to police if I see it again. Consequently she has poisoned her family against me for mentioning this.

Guys, DO NOT Get Married!

If you do, your soul with rot until your body finally dies.


If you are going to read one book this decade…..this is book! If you have a low opinion of women now…wait until you read this book….you will run from them like the plague they are!
Hey blogger, other men reading this post, this is directly why I refuse to date American women, because of this insane legal system. If you want a good woman who has a drive for herself, you might want to consider a Russian woman. There are more women than men there due to the massacres of WWII, many of them have a drive and endurance and do not engage in laziness. The sexual revolution, feminist movement (that has been hijacked by assholes) and all this stuff has screwed the society up. Let's look outside the borders and truly find women who do justice to the name of "wife"! Man, I wish I could join you guys for some brews, a football game and man-to-man talk. Hate living around sissies.
After 16 years of marriage to a selfish, adulterous shrew, who destroyed our family (we have two kids) and divorced me because I had the unmitigated nerve to be caught in the economic collapse of 2007, despite the fact that I stuck by her through all of her hard times even when her own family didn't stick by her, I not only will never, EVER, be foolish enough to marry again, but I've devoted the rest of my life to warning other men about the extreme dangers of marriage. Men! Do Not Fall Into The Trap Of Marriage! Believe-you-me, a wife will grind your soul into the dust! And the courts will have her back!
No American women. Not before. Not now. Not ever! All of my relationships have been with Asian women. Once I had a taste it was all over.
Not only no American women, but no women who speak English as their native language, or who are fairly fluent in English as their second language.

Further, if you DO pursue foreign women, you can only be nuts yourself to bring them with you, back to the environment that created the women who treat you like a slave/pet. You must be prepared to leave the USA/UK/Canada/AUS/NZ, etc., and adopt a new culture--HERS. To do otherwise is merely perpetuating the same problem...but with a cute foreign accent. Cute gets old fast, too.
I consider, after being defrauded out of a son (kidnapped) when my wife took him to Australia, that women are now legal liabilities as are their children. A man should think long and hard being in a room with either WITHOUT a witness as a women can say anything and the situation you as a man will have to defend possibly in court at your expense. And when the women says "I'm not like that" do not believe her-they all say that. The law and western society assume men guilty until proven innocent.

If I was EVER to consider marriage again I would only do so with a Dowry being paid by the women or her family to cover any future costs created by her actions.
I feel really sorry for you guys :(

I think the narcissistic personality disorder that is endemic in a lot of marriages (perpetuated by both genders) does not lend itself to the prospects of a healthy relationship. Divorce and misery inevitably follows. An adversarial no- fault divorce system heavily weighted in favour of women completely screws over most divorcing men.

Being a divorced father of 3 who was prevented from seeing my children for 3 years by ex wife I would never walk down that plank again. During my 2 year fight in the family courts I met countless men going through the exact same circumstances. Fast forward past 28 different hearings before 9 different judges, countless of breached (on her part) contact orders, a fact finding hearing and exoneration (during which she accused me of molestation my children) and a disappearance (during which I had no idea where my children were), I now have custody of my children. Was it worth all the pain? Let's just say I wished Hitler was married in 2015 United kingdom. To all the decent guys out there my advice; find a nice girl treat her right and Don't marry her! Maybe then you might have a chance.
Notice the women here are all about themselves. None of them said anything about a willingness to accept correction from a man. That's what a man wants: A woman who is willing to give up her identification with her boss...Satan.
@Anon Sept 14
I think what a man wants is a women who isn't a self centered shallow shit. Giving up identification has nothing to do with it.
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